Embarrassing childhood stories.

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Bonochick said:
My favorite story actually involved my sister...and it embarrassed my dad more than her. :wink:

My dad and my sister were at a crowded gas station...I don't know how old she was, but she was fairly young. She had been watching this Garfield special a lot lately, and there's a part where Garfield was pretending to be Igor and was responding to Jon with a "Yes, master!" My sister was hanging out the truck window, and Dad told her to get back in the truck. She yelled, "Yes, master!" People turned to look at the horrible man who makes his daughter call him "master". :lol: And it got worse. Well, you know how dads will playfully wrestle with their kids? Our dad did that with us. So after my sister got back in the truck, she hollered out, "Daddy, when we get home, will you beat me up again?" :lmao:
:lol: :lol:
You know how flip flops float on water. Well, I thought if they could float then I would be able to float as well with them on my feet.

It didn't work.
^ hahha

mkay well there's a lot of embarrassing childhood stories for me. so i guess i'll just list them. oh and by the way, this is a grreat thread :)

1. first one off the top of my head. i was in kindergarten adn my teacher got all mad at me for interrupting her during quiet reading time (she read to us) and then she made me sit in the corner at a desk with my head down. and i remember she was really mean and i was crying. and i was really angry cause it was so unfair cause others kept interrupting her too. and i remember i said a bunch of bullshit about her. and the next day my parents got a letter from her saying that during my punishment i said some things and she wrote it ALL down. and it said stuff like '' you're a pig. i'm going to tell my brother on you and he's going to beat you up..." and stuff. ..... the funny thing is is that my brother was in 1st grade and i was in kindergarten... :giggle: :reject:

2. my brother, me and my mom were in the minivan and i remember the window was open and i had this REALLY awesome teddy bear that i carried with me EVERYWHERE. he was yellow and he had neon orange ears. i think i was like 5 or 6? well anyways, the window was open and i remember asking my brother "if i put my bear outside the window, will he fly?" and my brother said i don't know, try it. and i stuck him out the window and i was like "will he fly on his own?" and my brother just shrugged. and then i let go and the teddy bear FLEW out on the street and under a truck behind us. and i screamed out HE FLEW HE FLEW!!! and my mom FREAKED OUT and stopped the car, put on the hazard lights and asked the trucker to back up so she could get the teddy bear and then she brought it back and locked the windows. the whole time, my brother was laughing...

3. my mom and her friends ALL have the same haircut. i confused my mom wiht her friend and threw my socks at my moms friend and asked her if i can go to my friends house. the lady looked at me and i apologized hysterically. i think i was ... 7 yrs old?

4. me and my brother had just watched tv with breakdancers and them doing crazy stunts and jumping moves and stuff. and i asked my brother to help me try to do this one move where i held my hands under my legs and my brother goes behind me and lifts me up and i flip over onto my feet. well... he didn't lift on time to when i was ready so i fell flat on my face and ended up breaking my collarbone. my mom was very unhappy about that. unfortunately, i was in 6th grade around then. or 12 years old.. hahah.. :lol:

5. in 6th grade i was going through the phase where i want to look pretty. if you know waht i mean. so i took my dads razor and wondered, my eyebrows look gross. and i remmeber seeing my mom always do somethign to her eyebrows and so i ... SHAVED MY EYEBROW off........ everyone that asked at school the next day i said that it happened on accident. :|

i know there's more but i can't remmeber much. but here's a few hysterics about my brother.

apparently once my dad came home and my brother was sitting on the toilet peeing. but then my dad slammed the door shut, so the bugs from the outside wouldn't come in, and my brother freaked out, and fell into the toilet and he ended up having to get 7 stitches or so on his chin.
and this EXACT situation occurred again except this time my brother was in the shower. but my mom opened the door to the bathroom adn my brother freaked out and he slipped and he had to get 4 stitches on his eyebrow/forehead area. these both occurred when he was like 4 or 5 or something. haha
Awesome stories

I got a couple on the top of my head-

When I was young I loved superman, so I would get in my white undies, no shirt or pants, and I would get a towel and tie it on my back like a cape, and we had the superman cd, so I put on the superman cd full blast, and I would jump out the front window like superman, the neighbors were always out front and saw me, and to this day whenever any of the neighbors see me, they call me by my name, but with more emphases, kinda like a deeper and louder voice, like Im a superhero

Im the youngest of 8 kids in my family, and when i was younger and I would get out of the shower, my 3 older brothers would throw me outfront naked, and lock the doors, and I would run around the house trying to find a way back in, and they would just sit inside and watch me and laugh.

When I was 14, I wanted to go to a Tonic concert, but I didnt do my chores so my parents said I couldnt go, so I went anyways and i left a note telling them Im running away, and i didnt go back home, and I broke into our church and i lived there for 2 weeks, at night I would go to my house and steal tons of food to live on, until finally the police found me, and took me home.

When I was 8 or 9 my parents went out of town and left my oldest brother in charge, and my brother always made me do all the dishes and stuff, and he told me I couldnt go anywhere until I did the kitchen, but I left anyway to play basketball at my friends, and he came over and got me, and my other brother has a whip that he bought in tijuana, so my brother got the whip and made me get in my undies and whipped me like 10 times. When my parents found out about that he was in trouble.

When I was younger 7 or 8, we had a food storage out in the garage, and me and my buddy got a bucket of gas and wanted to see what happened with a match, so we threw a match in the bucket, and it kinda blew up on us and it caught on the food, and the whole food storage was on fire, and I all i rememebr is that my brother came out and tried to get it out, but the whole food storage was gone before we got it out, but I remeber my 2 other sisters had there firends over, and instead of helping us, they were out in the streets dancing to the fire, because it was at night, and they thought it was a game or something.

Theres too many, but good times!
Halifax said:

Raphael was my favourite ninja turtle as well! I remember having a Rapael costume when I was little and running around the house pretending to beat up footsoldiers :laugh: :reject:.


Raphael is the best, me and my friends would watch Ninja Turtles 1, and then we would go reinact when Rapheal was in the sewer yelling curse words. So we would go in the back yard and yell curse words at the top of our lungs, and we were 8 or 9 and we got a lot of complaints from the neighbors.
Oh, and --

Not a story so much, but an embarrassing childhood fact: Even up to when I was nine or ten I thought David Bowie was a black reggae singer. I had mixed up Ziggy Stardust and Ziggy Marley. :reject:
Ha ha ...this is kind of more so bordering on that of a teenager story, but when I was in grade 7 I thought it would be cool to peirce my lip, the only thing was...I had no money, and my parents wouldn't let me so what does a young boy do? Take a staple right down the middle of his lip....wow that hurt and then all winter long everytime I sneezed a little blood would fly all over the place. That was really something ...still bleeds here and there if they get chapped...anyway thats just one of my stories, I'm going to think of a few more eventually.
^ ouch!!!!

love this thread btw!

One time i was being very naughty at the supermarket that i took oranges and rolled them down aisles then hid, about 4 or 5 people actually tripped over then some lady actually fell and hurt herslef enough to be picked up on a stretcher and go to the hospital :reject: i felt so bad, but no one knew it was me...

Another time a friend of my older brother kept using the line cocksucker and i didnt know what it meant other then it was rude so when my mum was at a parent teacher niht i was playing with some kids and they threw a ball at my head so i screamed at the top of my lungs YOU ARE ALL COCKSUCKERS AND YOU LOVE IT...

my mum almost DIED.

or the time when i wanted chocolate and mum wouldn't get me any so i shoved about 25 kitkats down my pants and walked out of the store with them falling out the bottom. I got caught and never went back to the store again...LOL
dazzlingamy said:
Another time a friend of my older brother kept using the line cocksucker and i didnt know what it meant other then it was rude so when my mum was at a parent teacher niht i was playing with some kids and they threw a ball at my head so i screamed at the top of my lungs YOU ARE ALL COCKSUCKERS AND YOU LOVE IT...

my mum almost DIED.

:lmao:! Oh, my god...

I like the teddy bear one that youtooellen shared, too! Especially the bit about how your brother was just laughing the whole time :D. And LOL at the eyebrow one, too.

Also, loverippedaway...okay...owwwwwwwwwwwww...*Winces*.

Clarityat3am's current baking question post reminded me of one of my more embarrassing childhood stories.

You know how great raw cookie dough is? Well, when I was a little kid (oh, 7 or 8 or so) my older sister had a friend over for the night and my parents were out for the evening. We decided to make bread and all was going just fine. Sometime during making it, I decided that if raw cookie dough was good, raw bread dough should be good too. And it was...I munched down a fair few mouthfuls and was quite the happy little camper.

I think my folks came home and finished up the bread as we went upstairs and went to bed. Unbeknownst to me at that time, the human stomach is an excellent environment for yeast to rise. :yikes: I wake up in the middle of the night and promptly vomit up massive volumes of very ripe bread dough all over the bedroom (mind you my sister's friend is in there too :huh: ). What a disgusting mess! And OMG the stench was almost unbearable!

Cured me of that raw bread dough habit pretty damned quick. :wink:
wow these are great

the most embarrassing thing i did was once in at disney world(i was 6 or 7) and i took money from a stranger even though my aunt was yelling noooooooooooooooooo in the background :reject:
This is just a few of many embarrassing childhood stories :lol:

-Up until I was 4 I would randomly strip in public. I was quite the exhibitionist from what I'm told. :laugh:

-When I was 2 and a half, my mother came home and brought me home a milkshake. I decided it would be a good idea to dump it on my head :huh: :lol:. Unfortunately my mother had a camera on hand so I can never deny it happened :laugh:

-On a local news station here, there's a program called Wednesday's child. Every Wednesday, they feature a child who is up for adoption. My brother would tell me every week that I was going to be on Wednesday's child. Whenever it came on or there was a commerical for it he would give me this look and I would burst into tears. I was 5 years old, so of course I believed him. One day, we were in line at McDonalds and we were having some stupid fight and he told me that if I didn't shut up I would be on Wednesday's Child tomorrow. I started crying and my mother was trying to convince me that I wouldn't be put up for adoption. I didn't believe her and ran up to a random woman in line, grabbed her hand and screamed "Pleeeease don't let me go on Wednesday's Child! Help me!!" My mother looked like she wanted to die.

-I have a great aunt who has a bit of a gravely voice. When I was 5 I couldn't tell if she was a man or a woman. So I asked her in the only way I knew how. I said to her "Do you have a .....or a .....?" :shifty: :lol: She looked at my mother and said "Did she ask me what she think I just asked?" :lmao:

-In 3rd grade, we were playing kickball at recess. I got kicked in the head with it :reject:.
daygloeyes2 said:
This is just a few of many embarrassing childhood stories :lol:

-I have a great aunt who has a bit of a gravely voice. When I was 5 I couldn't tell if she was a man or a woman. So I asked her in the only way I knew how. I said to her "Do you have a .....or a .....?" :shifty: :lol: She looked at my mother and said "Did she ask me what she think I just asked?" :lmao:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
During a nice quiet dinner I picked up my mashed potatoes and threw them in my cousins face. My aunts and uncle had to get up and leave the table to laugh.

I wasn't very eventful as a kid. But I've made up for that now.
BAW took me bowling when I was 9, I went up to the lane, and started going, but forgot to take my hand out of the ball and ended up sliding halfway down the lane, with tons of people laughing at me.
That reminds me, when I was about 3, I was bowling with my mom and sisters. One of the balls went into the gutter, and as my sisters were complaining about it, I said "I'll get it!", and I ran onto the lane, and slipped and fell. My family and everybody else who saw had a good laugh.
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1. When I was about eight years old, I got sick with flu and had to stay at home. Now, my bed stood right next to the wall on which there hung a huge carpet with nice colourful geometrical designs. One day as I was lying in bed feeling bored out of my mind, for some reason I decided to occupy myself by plucking the threads out of the carpet so that there was soon a neat square hole. Then I heard my grandmother come into the room and without thinking I quickly stuffed all the plucked threads into my mouth. Turned out, she brought with her a basin and a cup with some herbal stuff so that I could rinse my throat... so I was basically stuffed. When she saw me spit out the threads, and then saw the hole in the carpet, needless to say she was not amused.

2. When I was six or seven years old, I went to my grandmother's for a summer holiday. One day my cousin Irina, who was the same age with me, came to stay for a night with us and we were put together in one room while my grandmother slept in another. We of course decided that we wouldn't go to sleep at all, and instead stay up and play with the flashlight and tell scary stories and such. Earlier in the day, we had also pinched a big chunk of smoked sausage from the fridge and hid it in the book-case, so that we could feast on it during the night. So, the night comes, our grandmother is sound asleep, and we decide it's time to get that sausage out. I get up from the bed and tiptoe across the room to the bookcase when - this is really embarrassing - I suddenly start to fart. Not just once, or twice, but a whole series of loud prolonged explosions. Irina starts to howl with laughter, our grandmother wakes up from the noise, comes angrily into our room, and promptly separates us by taking my cousin into her room for the rest of the night. The sausage remained lying in the bookcase for two weeks before I could muster the courage to go and look at it; by then it was green and mouldy and my cousin was never allowed to stay with me again.
Here are some various ones...from back in the day alright...here we go.

When I was 2 or 3 I had gone to a local amusment park, and there was this skeleton that really seemed to intrest me, so when I got back to my house there was some kind of event going on...Anyway my uncle was there, this guy is a character and he said "Andrew, what do you want to be when you grow up?" and I answer "I want to be a skeleton." He smirked for a moment then said "I'm afried you don't have any choice anyway." Everyone at the time found it quite funny...I still hate when they bring it up every thanksgiving.
Age 11-12 at my friends birthday party.

It was my friends birthday and he had invited the entire class over. I really liked a girl from class so i thought that it was the perfect time to impress her a little. So i kept my eyes open for a little alone time and the perfect opportunity came when somebody suggested a little game of hide and seek and she was choosen as one of those that had to search for the rest of us.
I found a very obvious place for her to look which was under a small bush. What i didn´t know was that i had comfortably laid myself in some dog shit.
Well she goes straight for the bush and finds me and i thought GREAT and jumped up. My pants were covered in dog shit and obviously she didn´t find it very attractive. Soon everybody came over and laughed at my little accident and my chances with the girl were long gone.

After the laughter had died out then i needed some alone time and went over to sit near another bush. Well once more i planted myself in dog shit and i were not allowed back inside my friends house.

True story.
yimou that's a classic! :lol: If only you'd gotten the girl to sit in the dog shit as well, maybe you could've spent some quality time together locked outside the house. :)
Zihua said:
yimou that's a classic! :lol: If only you'd gotten the girl to sit in the dog shit as well, maybe you could've spent some quality time together locked outside the house. :)

:lol: True

Well maybe six months later she did end up being the first girl i ever kissed,, So dont let dog shit ruin your motivation.

Speaking of going w.o. clothing....my horrifying story was in summer camp. I hated going to camp for a variety of reasons, and this was one of the first nightmarish things that happened:

I must have been around 9 or 10...old enough to know better. I was an extremely innocent child and since I have a laid back family that during the summer was known to walk around naked when skinny dipping, or just getting changed to go swimming, I had no idea that there was anything embarassing about it.

Well, I was in my cabin at camp, changing out of my swimming clothes. I realised that I had left my towel outside on the line. There was no one around so I thought I'd run out quickly to get it and run back in again. Unfortunately there was a group of kids coming that I didn't see, and I think they were boys.

I hear "OMG there's a naked girl over there! Get her!!" I nearly died and I ran around to the back of the cabin and hid. I have no idea why they didn't follow or find me, but eventually the coast was clear and I went back in. I learned a major lesson that day.

Ugh, it still makes me sick to my stomach remembering it.

Ok I know this post was made a long time ago, but it definitely gave me pause. This is a funny coming of age story on the one-hand but on the other it's very chilling.

Firstly, as you mentioned there's a loss of innocence here. You describe yourself as a free-flowing, expressive person who feels no shame about her body. To have that snatched away in a millisecond because of a few rowdy boys is horrible.

Second, I imagine this was your first sexual experience? Obviously there was no physical contact, but a group of boys seeing you butt naked is certainly a kind of sexual exploration, although absolutely not intended.

Lastly, and this was the part that chilled me while reading, if the boys had chased and caught you.... what then? Fortunately they didn't, but I got flashes of rape stories where a man chases his victim down and forces himself on her. When the boys yelled "Get Her" is when I felt uneasy. Given how young you were I'm sure it would've just been playful teasing, but who knows, you might've carried many many MANY additional memories had they decided to chase you.

Why do you think they didn't chase you? How far were you from them when they spotted you nude?
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