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I'm back to save the universe!!! You're (sic) Uncle Ronnie is ready to let loose a little McULTRA on the world's collective ass! Does that sound like fun to you? I HOPE SO BECUASE ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING and has ALREADY HAPPENED Do the Ronald, come on kids Do the Ronald it looks like...

Howdy Doody boys and girls, it's your old buddy Uncle Ronnie!!!! ARE YOU SITTTTING COMFORTABLLY!!!! Good, then I'll beginn. Ladies and germs, it is now time for you to assume the position and do the goshdarn RONALD!!! You've been neglecting this for many years, but I'm back now, to save the...

Don't you kids wanna know where your Uncle Ronnie's been for the last year and a bit? Uncle Ronnie has been travelling the wild world. And now the trip is over and it's back to work for your impoverished Uncle Ronnie. Some new pants would be a good start! Do the shit hotdog, kids.

Goin down to Congress do the shit hotdog dance goin down to Congress to get me some pants and a big fat payback Hey kids, you want to keep America safe for capitalism, right? Do the fucking Ronald!

The question you gotta ask yourselves, friends and neighbours, is what burger you'll be in the next life... Come and talk it over with your Unca Ronnie, who knows what goes best with what. Try the special goddamn sauce while you're at it! Plenty to go around! It's a land of plenty, friends...

Get down and do the goddamn big mac chant today! You could win a free pukka purple puree treat! Pukka Purple Puree Treat Tastes good for you and me It's finger snappin' fabulicious Don't just stand there, get with it! Do the goddamn Ronald!

Uncle Ronnie's special white sauce is a trade secret.

I got you on my list daddyo... expect a visit soon.

Don't stop doing the goddamn Ronald! Otherwise you won't get any free purple pukka puree treat!

You got sweet meats for Bad Ronnie? Drop them by the door and I'll get to mincing. I don't care where it comes from, just as long as it's tender. Do the goddam Ronald, kids! Today's consumers are tomorrow's mincemeat, all in the true spirit of recycling. Waste not, want not.

It ain't over till Uncle Ronnie says so.

Do the freaking ronald.

People say I'm an evil corporate megalith, but it ain't fair. I'm just a strugglin' joe, fightin' to feed mother and child like the next guy. Uncle Ronnie wants to thank you all for chipping in through the special 'Give Ronnie a Home' levy on all mcburgers and donor kebabs. The results are...

What happened to you and your doberman practising your Phil Collins stylings in the basement? Don't you love your uncle Ronnie no more?

Dear Lost Customer: You should know that the Colonel and I go waaaaaaay back. Way back. We used to wear the white sheets if you know what I mean. Colonel Sanders has been doin' the Ronald since there was no Ronald. Kick back and relax with Colonel Sanders sometime, he's got lots of old...

Dear gregoire cee lewis, Uncle Ronnie don't do house calls. Write some Huey Lewis-style tunes for my new St Louis drivethrough and I might consider giving your doberman a new home. As for you, old tiger, you ain't a frequent donor till you've coughed up a lung or two. Mind the stains and...

Kids, I can record you marketing melodies to make more people buy your shit. Cheery shiny happy melodies to entice new customers into your store and get them eatin' those goddam donor kebabs like candy! A pavlovian reaction as scientifically proven by the greatest minds of our age. Put...

Do the Ronald.

I was sayin', Howdy-goddam-doody. As in, pull up a chair and tuck in. What's happenin' daddyo? That's great. Open wide and chow down on some of that chunky donor kebab goodness. As in, eat the goddam sweet meats that is placed before you. And have some special white sauce while you're at...

Some folks like the nightlife and some folks dig the bright lights but Uncle Ronnie likes the sweet meats So crawl on by for a special treat Drive through and flip a burger or two Shake hands with the man in yellow! Pukka Purple Pizza for everyone!! What more could you ask from childhood! Kids...

Someday everyone will do the Ronald.

Try Unca Ronnie's Pukka Purple Pizza... just like you always wanted it!

Hidey-ho boys and girls!!! Take a dive and take a ride, it's all the same to your Uncle Ronnie! Do the freaking Ronald today, for your chance to win a year's supply of donor kebabs! Fresh from the airport to your plate, a true taste sensation as enjoyed by the Ottoman emperors! Now featuring...

Your choice of liver, kidney or lung... go on kids, it's tasty and what's more it's purple! Authentic middle eastern gourmet cuisine as tasted by Ali Baba and his forty thieves! As chartered by the Shah himself!!